An Angry Wombat
Note to self: don't get too drunk at a wedding in rural Australia...
"I was very drunk at a wedding on a large property in rural NSW...I was alone and suddenly confronted with a wombat. Wombats are massive balls of muscle. Being the drunk idiot I was, I was all like “awww hello me wombat” and began to approach it. The wombat did not like this. It charged me. It was so fast...The little bugger nearly caught me. I sprinted back to the wedding in fear for my life."