Answer truthfully for the most accurate results. This is NOT a medical diagnosis. Entertainment purposes only.
I feel like I'm always being watched.
Probably not, but it's whatever, man.
No, that seems weird.
Sometimes, but I'm probably overreacting.
Of course. We're all being watched...
Do you like to go out and party?
Yeah, I'm usually down for anything.
Never. Socializing is a waste of time.
Sometimes—I like a good mix of staying in and going out.
Occasionally, but I get easily overwhelmed.
Someone asks you out on a date. Do you immediately search for their social media profiles?
Sometimes, just to see what kind of person they are.
Always! And if I don't like what I find, I'll cancel it.
I have made a fake social media profile for this purpose.
Nah, I just go with the flow.
Someone is walking slowly ahead of you. What do you do?
I follow them to their destination.
I attempt to get around them, but if I can't, it's no big deal.
I go out of my way to walk ahead of them. Slow walkers drive me crazy!
Nothing. What's the rush?
Do you usually sleep through the night?
I have trouble sleeping. My thoughts are always racing...
Most of the time, unless I have things on my mind or work to do.
Sleep? What, so the government can monitor my vitals while I'm unconscious? No thanks.
I always sleep for however long I need.
How many notifications are on your phone right now?
I have no idea. Who cares about that stuff?
Some, but I'll usually clear them out every now and then.
None. I hate it when my home screen is overloaded with notifications.
I like to use a flip phone.
Do you have many pet peeves? (Loud chewing, being late, people who talk during a movie, etc.)
No, not really. I'm chill with whatever people want to do.
People are constantly irritating me.
A couple, but they don't get in the way of my relationships.
Yes, and I always tell them to stop—or else they'll face the consequences.
You're feeling sick. What do you do?
Wait it out. It's usually nothing.
Go to the doctor.
Eat a Tide Pod to clean my insides.
Google my symptoms and assume that I'm dying.
Are you a punctual person?
I try to be, but I can run late sometimes.
I try to be, but I can run late sometimes.I'll get there whenever I get there, dude.
I refuse to acknowledge the laws of linear time.
Being late is unacceptable.
You find out that someone has touched your stuff without permission. What do you do?
I let it go. What's the bFreak out and sanitize everything immediately.ig deal?
I'm a little annoyed, but there's nothing to do about it.
Burn the contaminated belongings.
I let it go. What's the big deal?
The light turns green, but the car in front of you doesn't move. What now?
Wait it out. They'll move eventually.
Rear-end them.
Lay it on the horn. Come on, buddy! We all have places to be!
Give them a few, then honk once to get their attention.
Do you consider yourself a worrier?
Nope. Life is pretty cool, most of the time.
Not really. I try to take things in stride.
Yes, and everyone tells me so.
Yes, because the rapture is imminent.
Is it difficult for you to hide your emotions?
What emotions?
It depends, but I usually just express how I'm feeling.
Yes, I wear my emotions on my sleeve.
Why would I hide what I'm feeling? Let's talk it out.
How do you work under pressure?
I always do my best, but my performance can suffer.
There always comes a point when I just... snap.
Pressure? There's no pressure. We all work at our own pace.
Honestly? I totally fall apart.
Are you someone who envisions the worst-case scenario?
All the time. It can ruin my experiences!
Definitely not. I let the universe decide my fate.
I am impervious to danger.
Only when there's a big risk that something will go wrong.
Your Uber driver makes a wrong turn. What do you do?
I send a report to corporate and demand they pull over immediately.
Open the door and barrel-roll out.
I politely let them know that they made a mistake.
I let it slide. I'm always down for an adventure.
How do you feel about kids?
Kids are nasty little germ-magnets.
I like kids—unless they're screaming on an airplane.
I don't feel one way or the other. They're just little humans.
Children are aliens disguised in human suits.
Would you consider yourself a patient person?
The alien overlords wait for no one.
For the most part, but I have my limits.
No. I have places to be.
Certainly—everyone goes at their pace.
Someone goes in for a handshake but you give them a hug instead. What do you do?
Feel such intense embarrassment that I want to crawl into a hole.
Awkwardly apologize and move on.
Crack a joke about it.
Double-check to make sure that they don't have tentacles where their hands should be.
You're about to leave early from a party. What do you do?
Leave the party early? Why would I do that?
I say goodbye to my friends and head out.
I tell the host I'm leaving and duck out before anyone sees me.
I set off fireworks to distract the guests and sneak away under my invisibility cloak.
You're waiting for someone to respond to an important message. How are you feeling?
Relaxed. I'm sure they'll get back to me at some point.
Sick with worry. What if they're mad at me?
Furious. How dare they ignore me for any length of time?
A little nervous, but I can distract myself with other tasks pretty easily.
How do you express anger or frustration?
I bottle up my anger and flip out when I can't take it anymore.
I vow to destroy the source of my outrage.
I go to the gym, walk it off, or talk about it with someone.
Just take a few deep breaths, man. It's all good.
Are you an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?
I like to think that I'm and optimist, but I'm more of a realist.
I'm pretty much an optimist.
I only see darkness in the world.
I'm a bit of a pessimist.
Is productivity important to you?
Not really. I put my needs first.
When I don't have a productive day, I beat myself up about it.
Yes, of course. I'm building a time machine.
Yes, but the desire to be productive doesn't consume my life.
Do you think that you are an empathetic person?
Empathy is a sign of weakness.
I'd like to be, but other people can frustrate me so much.
I'm always in tune with the feelings of others.
I try to be as empathetic as I can without letting it affect me too drastically.
Do you have many friends?
I have a good mix of close friends and acquaintances.
I can only handle a few friendships at a time.
Friends? No thanks. I do have a vast collection of puppets...
I have so many friends that it's hard to keep track of 'em!
You're hosting a dinner party for your friends. Some of them offer to help you prep food in the kitchen. What do you say?
If unwrapping McDonald's counts as prepping, then sure.
Yeah, as long as it's only a few—too many cooks can get complicated.
No way. Besides, I'll have done all of the prepping in advance.
For sure! The more the merrier.
You're going on vacation far from home. The airport is 30 minutes away. What time do you leave your house?
Probably an hour or two before my flight.
I don't trust planes; they seem like witchcraft.
As early as possible. I'd rather sit at the airport all day than miss my flight.
At least two hours before my flight.
Someone makes a rude comment about your outfit. How do you react?
Laugh it off. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
I feel a little hurt, but it's not a big deal.
I feel terrible and will dwell on it for the rest of the day.
What, they're not a fan of head-to-toe leather?
Someone cancels on you at the very last minute. What do you do?
I'm bothered, but I'll find something else to do.
I give them a piece of my mind. It's rude to disrespect my time!
Excellent... more time to work on my macaroni art.
I spend the night chilling at home. That's just the way life goes!
You're at a bar when someone turns around and accidentally knocks your drink out of your hand; it spills everywhere. They apologize profusely. What do you do?
Who cares? It was an accident.
Yell at them and demand that they buy me a new one.
Start a fist-fight and get kicked out of the bar.
Tell them that it's okay and buy myself another drink.
Do you consider yourself a neat person?
Tidiness is extremely important to me.
I dropped a pot of spaghetti on the ground two months ago and it's still there.
A little mess never hurt anyone.
I keep it clean, but my space isn't always the neatest.
Would you leave the house in stained sweatpants?
Yeah, I do it all the time.
That's gross. I always look put-together in public.
Do people own clothes that aren't stained?
Only if I'm not seeing anyone that I know personally.
You've been waiting at a restaurant for almost an hour, and the server still hasn't brought out your food. What do you do?
Fill up on bread. They're probably super busy back there!
I start eating the napkins.
I complain to the manager before storming out.
I flag down a server and politely ask them to check on the food.
Do you care if someone eats one of your fries without asking?
Nope. Sharing is caring.
It would have been nice if they asked, but I don't really mind.
I will dial 911 and report them for theft.
Definitely! That's such a rude thing to do.
Someone cuts in line at the grocery store. Do you say something?
Yes, and I give them a little attitude.
Yes, but I try not to be rude about it.
Nah. Maybe they're in a rush!
I elbow them out of the way and reclaim my place in line.
You're running late for an important meeting. The elevator doors are closing, but someone is running toward you, clearly anticipating that you'll hold them open. What do you do?
I hold them open, of course.
I hesitate but ultimately decide to hold them open.
I let them close; you snooze, you lose!
I slam the "close" button multiple times while making direct eye contact.
You're in line for the bathroom and you really, really, really have to pee. Do you jump in line?
I ask the person in front of me if I can go ahead of them.
No, I just pee on the floor.
Yes, definitely. I don't have any other choice!
No! That wouldn't be very nice of me.
You're on a 15-minute train ride. The person standing next to you is listening to music without headphones. Do you say something?
No, I want to jam out with them!
I grab their phone out of their hands and smash it on the ground.
I ask them to either turn it off or put on headphones.
I can endure it for 15 minutes.
Do you clap when the plane lands?
Never. I'm usually still asleep.
I'm the first person to start clapping.
No. It seems unnecessary.
Sometimes, but only if everyone else is, too.
